Who's that Girl?


Real Influencers? Fathers

Originally posted: September 27, 2011 on TrishMcFarlane.com

I planned to share a post today about influence and how our actions impact others.  As I was putting finishing touches on that, I took a break to catch up on my GoogleReader and came across a post by my friend Mervyn Dinnen that stopped me in my tracks.  Mervyn is a Content and Community Manager for Jobsite UK (I’m a huge fan).  He is also a British business blogger who draws on experience gained in his career in recruiting and sourcing.  He’s an all-around great guy.

The post he shared today is about his father and how he influenced Mervyn.  There are some great lessons described and I encourage you to click through and read it here.

Things I learned From My Dad

Trish & Dad in Clearwater, FL

Reading his post reminded me of one I wrote in April 2010 about my father.  I’d like to share that again today here because when I really think about influence, for most people it starts at home, with our parents.  I’d love to hear you share stories of how a parent influenced you in the comments.

My Dad, My Influencer

I’ve often had people ask me what makes me work the way I do, why I get so focused or passionate about things in the workplace, or why I keep taking on more projects inside and outside work when I’m already busy.  I do these things because it’s the way I was raised.  My father, Don Steed, taught me everything I needed to know to be “successful” in my career.  And, by successful, I mean satisfied with my progress, my work product, and my work ethic.  I do not mean it’s about making more and more money, although that IS a nice outcome.

My dad had a hard life.  He was born in a tiny town, Bradford, Arkansas in 1940.  He had two loving parents and a little brother.  My grandfather was a bookkeeper and the family lived several places before landing in Detroit, Michigan.  Back then, tuberculosis was a very common disease in our population and my grandfather contracted it.  He spent seven years in and out of a sanitarium where patients were quarantined.  Mostly, he was there.

My dad was only seven years old when that happened, so he lost most of his formative years with his father becasue he could not even touch him, only experiencing a relationship with him by looking through a window. With his father mostly away, he became the man of the house at a young age and began working.  He was a paper boy, he helped the milkman deliver milk to the doors of each house and he picked up other odd jobs.  His dad eventually passed away when he was fifteen and he dropped out of high school and went back to Arkansas to live with his grandparents.  This had a huge impact on him.

Dad with Trish

By age seventeen he had already decided to join the Army.  He served our country for six years and traveled the world.  After he was released with an Honorable Discharge, he eventually moved to St. Louis, MO and started working.  He married my mother and several years later they had me and after that, my sister.   Although he was a family man and was also working full-time, once he got married, he quickly achieved his GED and began taking courses at the junior college.  He eventually transferred to Washington University. He worked hard his whole life and eventually retired from Big River Zinc (formerly AMAX Zinc) where he had been a manager over several large departments.  He was there over thirty years.

During my life, my dad was always involved in the PTA at school and served as President.  He eventually ran for our district’s school board and served on that from 1980- 1989.  One of the proudest moments in my life was when my dad, the President of the school board, handed me my high school diploma.  It was amazing!  With all he had going on, there were many nights he wasn’t home with us kids.  He had meetings and school events to attend, but what he taught me through that is that it is important to continue to challenge yourself once you’re an adult.

He also taught me:

  • Love your kids fiercely
  • Don’t be complacent- fight for what you believe is right
  • Always give 110%, whether that is when you’re with your kids, at work, or in the way you spend your free time
  • Give back to your community
  • Teach others what you know
  • If you need something done, always ask the busiest person because you know those are the go-getters who will help you get it done

Which brings me back to me.  I take those lessons seriously, and that is why I get all tied up in many activities.  At times that means stress and I’m ok with that.  Mostly, it brings love, community, and help back to me.  I do believe in karma.

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